Newly Weds (Financial, etc) Checklist

On a more serious note, today we are talking about other things you should remember in the process of joining two families. You might be completely overwhelmed by wedding preparations, but it's also important to consider your financial and legal marriages. I'm sure you've heard that when you get married, you are not just marrying the person, you also getting married to habits, desires and traits picked up from family. Some financial habits are deal breakers (for example consistently abusing money) while others may just be minor inconveneniences. I prepared this checklist for my friend before she got married in 2005. I hope you find it helpful. Contact me at editor@fabnaija.com if you need more detailed information or legal assistance with preparing documents or structuring your finances. Name & Address Change (if applicable) change address with post office file SS-5 form with Social Security Administration for official name change www.ssa.gov / 1800 772 – 1213 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 1800 772 – 1213 end_of_the_skype_highlighting change name and address with company's human resources file From 8882 with IRS for change of address changing with the Post office is usually sufficient for the IRS change, but don't take chances if you are busy, think about whether you should change your name right away. (if you change it in one place, you really need to change it in others to avoid any confusion. If you don't have time to do all this, then leave it for now) Filing Taxes Should you file Jointly or Separately? It is not always beneficial to file jointly when you are married Depends on how much more you have to itemize as a married couple The easiest way to know which is more favorable is to do a rough calculation of either type of filing and see which one saves the most taxes Disability Insurance make sure you have enough you don't want to overburden your spouse's income if you are unable to work for a while some recommend 75 – 80% of your current income long term disability insurance is very important don't take unnecessary risks; get enough Life Insurance may not be necessary till you have kids, if there is no one you are financially responsible for now review any plans you had before marriage to ensure that you have the right beneficiary ie don't forget to the change it to your spouse and children if that's what you want consider who should really be a beneficiary on your life insurance policy. You may want to include your parents (if they are dependent on your for their finances) make sure you have enough life insurance for final expenses (funeral etc) consider funding an irrevocable trust with your life insurance policy (discussed under irrevocable trust below) Get a Durable Power of Attorney: document designates the person who can make certain health decisions when you can't (usually your spouse, but does not have to be) Determine whether the person has a good grasp of what you would like Make sure the person is assertive because people may have a different opinion Make sure the document states what constitutes a terminal illness Will For very interesting tax reasons, you need separate wills. File a copy with your bank. Make sure you follow the rules for will creation in your state Children College fund is the main thing to remember (open as soon as possible) Contribution to college fund is tax free up to the annual gift tax exclusion ($11,000 in 2005 and indexed for inflation) You can set this up in most banks consider separate savings account for children it encourages them to save and they can use the money for something other than education I don't believe the contribution to this account is tax free Consider using the donations the kids receive from visitors when they are born to start this account (be a good parent, do not spend the money) Irrevocable Trust You may want to consider creating an irrevocable trust for your children It's irrevocable so you won't have access to the money You may also make your life insurance the property of the trust This way, when you die, all the money they would have received under the life insurance policy goes to the trust This is a good idea because the trust will have a trustee that will ensure that the money is used carefully by the children if they are young Remember to have someone other than your spouse listed as a secondary trustee in the unlikely and sad event that you both die at the same time if you create a trust or Will be sure to list all your children. Preferably just list "children" instead of listing the names of your children because you may forget to update it when you have a new kid Considering how expensive weddings are, you may want to create an irrevocable trust for your kids' weddings Retirement Note that retirement accounts are owned individually. Use work retirement plans as much as possible. Do not depend on your spouse's retirement fund (big mistake) Consider IRAs Contribute to 401K or 403(b) plan. Contribution is tax-free and growth is tax deferred. 401ks have been getting special attention in today's economy. Talk to your financial advisor about your particular situation or contact us at editors@fabnaija.com for our recommended advisor. review the beneficiary on retirement accounts ( make sure you have the right name) you may need to elect survivor benefits on your company's retirement plan (check) Ask yourself how much you can live on each year. When you decide, use the calculator on the following website to determine if you are saving enough to reach your goal retirement income: http/Newlywedfinances.com/retire_calc/index.html

2008 Wedding Website of the Year

12/5/2008 See results for the 2009 Challenge: http://fabnaija.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/winner-wedding-website-challenge-2009/ After tallying the votes we received as of October 31, 2008, the winner of the 2008 Wedding Website of the Year Challenge is Anehita and Roland's wedding website, www.anehitaandroland.com. The first runner up is www.odufawedseki.com Congratulations! We look forward to next year's challenge on http://www.fabnaija.com/wedding_website.php

How to have a Nigerian Wedding on a budget?

Nov. 22, 2008 Editor's Note: Visit our blog by clicking on "Editors' Corner" on www.fabnaija.com If you've not heard, the economy is shot, people are losing their jobs, people are losing their savings on wall street, but more importantly, you've already sent out the save the date announcements or you've told your friends about your wedding or you'd really rather get married before you turn 30 (for whatever reason) and next year is the year you just have to get married. Now how do you do this on a budget? You still want the beautiful wedding; nice décor, good food, good music, nice dresses, but you are concerned about money. Nigerian weddings are much easier to hold on a budget. Even the fact that we generally have 2 weddings should not do too much havoc to your budget. Here are some tips to help you as you plan 1. You must set a budget. You absolutely must. And you must plan to spend less than you budget. Budget for every little thing. Pay cash if you can. Avoid the temptation to put some things on your credit card and then pay for other things with cash. If you use a credit card, try to use only a credit card for all your expenses and try to use the same credit card so you'll be aware of your total expenses. 2. Start booking venues and vendors on time. You can get really good deals if you book on time. Book on Friday or Sunday if you can afford to do that. They are usually cheaper. Also, remember that vendors are nervous about filing in their calendars for next year, so you might be able to cut a good deal if you book on time. 3. Compare prices: ask your married friends for their wedding vendor lists. Call around for different prices till you get a good price. But don't use a bad vendor just because she's cheap. 4. Most Nigerians have a traditional wedding as well as a white wedding. You might consider doing the traditional wedding next year and waiting on the white wedding. At least after the traditional wedding, you'll be considered married by the Nigerian community and you can get married in court and be "totally married." Our traditional weddings are generally cheaper, and your families (depending on the family) will consider you married. 5. For the traditional wedding, consider having it in someone's house instead of renting (most people do this already). 6. Limit the guest list. It's ok to have invitation only weddings. Just be sure to place "Invitation Only" in a prominent position on the Invitation Card. You don't need to invite people you can't afford to entertain. People will understand and if they don't, o well. Just remember that they won't be paying the bills for you. 7. Do It Yourself Projects: Asking your friends to help you with some projects can save money, but be careful what you delegate. 8. Be good to your friends and family members. Pick your wedding date on time and inform them so they can plan ahead. Be careful when choosing aso ebi. There's no need to have a dress code for every event (unless you're paying for it). Avoid the dress code for the party, the traditional wedding, the shower, the white wedding, etc. Aso ebi for one event is good enough. Times are tough so pick bridesmaids who can afford to buy the items (or pay for those who can't). Encourage your friends to be honest about what they can afford and don't guilt people who can't afford to attend all your events. 9. Rein in your parents. Remind them to finalize their guest list on time. You need to know how many people are flying in from Nigeria. You need to reserve hotels for them. 10. Enjoy!! Have a good time!!

Baby Mama – From Our Dating Editor

Oct 18, 2008 Watching a man with his kids…….such a beautiful, tender, awe-inspiring scene Seeing the love…..affection that is shared inspires a surprising longing A desire of sorts……..to be the recipient of such affection Or better yet…..to have birthed the cause of his affection….his….our….kids Subconsciously, I picture….wonder at….what they would look like……..our kids If they would have his smile, eyes, lips, charm, wit……his brains Subconsciously a smile appears at the image……..as I wound my arms tightly around myself …..instinctively around my womb…………..protecting our unborn child A child that I hope was conceived last night I am jarred awake…………..my thoughts/dreams rudely disrupted…..by a phone call She is calling…………the baby mamma She has another request……demand…………that must be met immediately And he's off to do her bidding……for the sake of his kids And I……I am left to pick up the pieces….and listen to him complain about her I have to listen to the complaints……………and yet my thoughts….opinions….do not count The kids are not mine so I am relegated to the sidelines And this is where the jealousy part kicks in I want him all to myself…………..I don't want to share him….not with her…or the kids For once I….not the kids or her…….want to come first But the boys come first with him……….always……..and she knows it She excels in usurping his time and focus, all on the pre-text of talking about the boys And I? I am being squeezed out of the little room I occupy in his life…..his heart The drama of dealing with a baby mamma……….I wouldn't wish that on my greatest enemy

Ten Ways to Lose a Naija Babe After the First Date

Sept 23, 2008 I have a lot of single friends and some married ones. Most of my married girl friends are married to Nigerians, except for one who hooked up with a Cameroonian guy. Finding the perfect Naija King to perfect your Naija mansion seems to have become the goal of many Naija babes. So with all this cooperation from the babes, you'd think Naija guys would find it rather easy to find their own Nigerian Queen. Not so I can't explain why Naija babes find it hard to find the One, but being a Naija babe myself and having done my fair share of staying awake late at night or waking up early to listen to my friends' gist about a date with a "quality Naija guy" that turned out horrible, I think I'm qualified to explain to my Naija guy friends (yahoozes and gentlemen alike) that there are certain things that are destined to crash a date with a Naija babe. To accomplish this all important task, I have called upon some of my good friends to tell some of their stories by themselves and in some way, help the Nigerian dating society. But I'll go first and post the rest later. Starting off with the First Way to Lose a Naija Babe After the First Date Tell her you expect her to cook for you from this day forward for the rest of her life. Don't run away, I'm not about to say women should not cook for their significant others. No way, no such thing. Just hear me out. Sometime ago, I went on a date with this guy that my friend had talked up pretty well. He was cute, he was handsome (yeah cute and handsome are 2 different things), he was kind, thoughtful, had a good job (a good provider, if you will), and most importantly, he was eager to meet me. Fast forward to the all important moment during the date where the Naija guy wants to know if I can cook. Really, this should not come up in the first couple dates at all. Anyway, even though I usually find this question quite annoying on a first date, I told him that I could cook. Then he wanted to know what I could cook and if I cook often and somehow in some way before I knew what was happening , he was telling me that he was sure I was looking forward to being pregnant and starting a family and cooking, yada yada yada. Why is this whole cooking conversation annoying? I'll tell you. The fact is in the Nigerian setting, the wife/mother is expected to cook or at least make sure food is available every day. So I say if you're not going to tell me something different…..say how you plan to relieve me of this duty say 3 to 4 times a week, then what really is the point of bringing up the cooking duty issue on a first date. I should be enjoying myself on a first date, not wondering about all the duties and burdens of marriage. Look at it this way, it's just like going on a date and having the girl remind you that she may be unable or unwilling to have sex during the last four months of pregnancy. Here you are single, pampered and the whole world is about you. Do you really need a vision of your life as you know it coming to an end? If you need something to talk about on a date, try these: - What do you do? - What is your job like on a daily basis? - What are your favorite foods? - Do you like watching Nigerian movies (many Naija babes dig Nigerian movies or at least have opinions about them) - What's your idea of the perfect vacation? So that's one of the ways. We'll post more soon. Naija babes, let us know your own thoughts. Ciao. One more thing…we know you're reading, but please leave comments so our editors will be encouraged to keep writing!!!! Posted in Notes From the Chief Editor Tags: babe, food, kitchen, Mansion, marriage, Naija, Naija babe, Nigerian, pregnant, Wedding, yahooze « The Bridesmaid from Hell!!!! Wedding website challenge » I thought the title was 10 ways? Edit Comment By: temi on October 15, 2008 at 10:17 pm Reply The editor wrote "So that's one of the ways. We'll post more soon. Naija babes, let us know your own thoughts." There are more coming. Edit Comment By: usnigerianevents on October 15, 2008 at 10:27 pm Reply