Without a Man, I am Nothing

He had this condescending laugh that drove me crazy

Like the fact that he was a man…..an African man…..better yet, a Nigerian man……made him better than me…

Because somehow, this made him superior

Irrespective of the fact that I was more accomplished than him



Apparently my accomplishments are decimated by the absence of a life partner

My worth determined by the presence of a man

Without him, I am nothing………

And my accomplishments, naught!!



Her behavior towards me is similar to his……………..

She has this air of superiority that amuses me

Because I was supposed to be jealous of her

After all, she was married and with child, and I………I am single

Even though I hate……..loathe…..pity…..dread…..her lifestyle



Indeed, she’s convinced I want to be like her………married and with child

But is that my lot as an African……..a Nigerian…..a woman

Am I not allowed to dread motherhood, at this age………….and all that comes with it?

Am I not allowed to be narcissistic……..?

To love my body, my weight, my breasts (sorry boobs)…….more than the joys of motherhood



Yes, I am single……………and still loving it

I am not beholden to anyone………….I can come and go as I please

My money is MY MONEY………….to be used on me………not the family, not the babies…me

And when I walk into a room, I still turn heads……..like never before



So tell me….what’s so great about marriage, again?

The responsibilities…………….the in-laws………the babies??

The weight gain, saggy boobs, stretch marks, sleepless nights, sacrifices………..that come after babies???

See………….it’s a choice………..my singlehood

I’m not in the wifey..babymaking…..motherhood…..whatever… mind frame yet



So save the pity, the derision…………….they make me gag

And the hookups…………God, the hookups

Unless he’s hella hot……and filthy rich, don’t even bother

I’ll meet him at my own time…………..

My priority right now is me, my career, my future…..my money