8-5-2008
Congratulations, you are engaged and you have the big fat ring to prove it. Or if you are like me, Congratulations, your very close friend is getting married and it’s time to help her make all those all important decisions. What to wear, what to serve, how to decorate, the date for the wedding, whether she really wants to marry that guy (that’s a discussion for another day) and finally, perhaps one of the most nerve racking decisions for a Nigerian bride – what materials do we buy for the asoebi?
Before we discuss how to choose the asoebi materials, let’s discuss why people bother having asoebi. Once you understand the reasons for this in the first place, you can tailor your purchase accordingly …hopefully. Now, if you’ve already had your wedding , this column may be a little late to save you from asoebi disaster, but never mind , you can pass along your knowledge or use it for another occasion.
Why asoebi? You do asoebi because even though the wedding lasts for one day (or maybe a whole weekend), the pictures are forever. Again, the pictures are forever!!! And you want those really cute pictures of your friends and family members. Now , of course, there are other reasons: like family solidarity, being able to tell the friends of the bride, the friends of the groom, the bride’s side, the groom’s side and maybe like I’ve seen once, the friends of the groom’s sister (I thought that was a little much). But when it comes down to it, no reason is more important to the bride than having those cute pictures. It’s the same reason we have bridesmaids, etc.
Now, that’s your reason. But remember that your beautiful single friends may also be hoping for the opportunity to meet a cute, God fearing, tall and handsome guy at your wedding (at least that’s what I hope to find…….holla at a sister if you have any ideas), so you want to choose something that does not make them look like ducks.
With our 2 goals in mind (cute pics and beautiful looking girlfriends), lets delve into tips for choosing the perfect asoebi
· Avoid brown or mint green or orange: there’s a reason blue, purple and pink asoebis are very common. It’s not because the users have no imagination. It’s more because those colors actually picture well. If you must use a different color and you probably should at least try to, please avoid dull colors. Brown on 15 girls just has a way of looking dull and unexciting. If the point is to spice up the wedding pics, you certainly will not accomplish your goal with brown or gray or some really dull looking, eye repelling yellow.
· In the same vein, avoid dark or overly bright colors unless they are mixed in with other colors. For example, don’t use all wine lace. 15 girls in wine lace look like they are heading to a burial (to bury the beauty of your wedding). No, don’t do that. On the other hand, don’t use really light pink or sky blue. Not good. Too bright or too dark should be avoided completely.
· Buy a little then buy a lot if you are sending someone to do the shopping. Have you ever seen a wedding of a very in the fashion forward bride where the asoebi looked like vomit and have you wondered if she hated her friends so much that she decided to make them wear such nonsense? I have. Usually, a diva bride ends up with horrible asoebi when she has someone else do the shopping. Because most of the materials are purchased from Nigeria and brought to the States for your wedding, you may end up just asking someone to buy the materials for you. Now what happens if you don’t like the material? Hmmm, this one is hard. There is no return policy in Naija so you are stuck with the materials. That’s why we say buy a little and if you like the little, then send for all.
· ANKARA: cheap, beautiful and probably the most likely to give disastrous results. The Ankara craze is in and everyone is using it in weddings these days. Ankara is beautiful and if well chosen, can add a lot of zaz to your wedding. Not to talk of the fact that your friends will thank you for the cheap price tag (you can generally get Ankara for $20 to $30 for 6 yards). There’s only one problem: some Ankara materials are really really busy looking and some are just plain UGLY!
o In general, we say just avoid any Ankara that has more than 2 colors. Remember you’ll have a lot of girls wearing the same material and you don’t want them looking like a rainbow.
o In almost all cases, break Ankara up with a plain material. Instruct (don’t advise) your friends to mix in plain material with the Ankara. And in fact, go one step further by purchasing the material to be mixed in….sorry but some people just have really horrible taste and if you want those cute pictures, you have to insist on certain things
o Head tie, gele, headdress or whichever one you choose to call it: If you decide to choose a matching head ite, please please please do not choose a busy one. Remember Ankara already has more than one color and is already patterned so you have to somehow choose a head tie that’s not heavily patterned. Something with one color, like the increasingly popular net head tie is probably the best way to go.
· Remember, don’t just choose the material because it is beautiful; rather, in your head, try to picture if it will look good on 15 or more people. As with Ankara, avoid strongly patterned materials. These may look good on their own, but be very unattractive in group pictures with 3 or more people (and you know those group pictures are the reasons you did the whole asoebi thing in the first place).
To help ease your stress, you can use the “asoebi tools” we are developing on usnigerianevents.com to inform your friends of your asoebi and to also receive payments for your asoebi. It’s easy to use and it’s free as well.
For our brides in Nigeria who would like to dress their wedding party with items from U.S. designers purchased online, but have no credit cards to make the purchases, our sister company mybuyusa can make the purchases and organize the shipping for a reasonable fee. Please contact editors@fabnaija.com.
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