Sunday, July 20, 2008

Why I will Not Go on a Date to Olive Garden


Don't get me wrong, I love Olive Garden……………and similar family restaurants ………truly I do….or at least I did when I was in graduate school. BUT unless we are just friends, do not take me to Olive Garden. No I am not a gold digger……quite far from it. Just follow my logic as I tally up the costs from a woman's point of view:
Dress: $80

Shoes: $75

Cost of getting your hair done (yes, we ladies try to impress the fellas): $55 (for a wash)


Accessories: $70


Pedicure/Manicure/Brow wax: $75


Total Cost of material things: $355, $355 people!!!



Pleasure of my company: PRICELESS!!!!



Yes fellas, we know you love showing us off……….



Now, a date to the aforementioned restaurant or the like will cost the fellas:


Cost of gas: $10….maybe $15 these days


(You do realize he's gonna pick you up unless you detect that he has that "stalker potential.")


Meal (includes appetizers…..salad, breadsticks, no need to order other appetizers): $40


Dessert: $7.00


Drinks: $5.00 (2 sodas)



From a business standpoint, this transaction was a total and absolute loss particularly if the man in question fails to intrigue u…………….or if there's no romantic attraction.



Can you really fault me for turning down a date to Olive Garden? I'm sorry, I'm not that desperate or bored…and I do have a great tendency to bored…..but not that bored.


My personal logic: if a man cannot afford to spend more than $100 (yes ladies, I know this is a measly amount), he should not bother wasting my time or his. I'd rather curl up on the couch and read a good book or better yet, hang out with the ladies.


Or ladies, what do you say!!?!!


This entry was written by Chi Chi, the Chief Editor of www.fabnaija.com


There's no consensus among the editors about this issue. Some of the editors might accept a date to Olive Garden if that's what the poor MOG (Man of God) can afford J. The others are on Chi chi's side.


In the meantime, if you've found your MOG or WOG, please check out www.fabnaija.com to find a venue and vendors for your all important event.



Responses

  1. Frankly a date to Olive Garden is ok with me. Just look at my point:
    Dress: Already in my closet
    Shoes: Also in my closet.
    Cost of getting your hair done (yes, we ladies try to impress the fellas): $35 at the Dominicans with deep conditioning. $30 on mondays
    Accessories: Once again in my closet
    Pedicure/Manicure/Brow wax: Don't do manicures so $30
    Total Cost of material things: $65, $65 people!!!
    Ok I can actually go on this first date and it'll cost me $0.00 because I do these things for myself anyway. He has only seen one outfit in my closet which is what I was wearing when he asked me out. I have so many others in my closet. I think it's ridiculous to walk around like a zombie until I get a date to clean up. lol
    I don't mind Olive Garden because it's nothing fancy with a nasty menu. I always say "START HOW YOU WANT TO FINISH", so if the guy is dumb enough to spend a lot of money on the first date, he either is superficial or confused. I guess am not like others also. This won't last and I don't want it to. I don't like eating out a lot anyway. I like to cook.
    Those things don't impress me much. PAY MY SCHOOL LOANS AND I WILL BUY A DRESS TO IMPRESS YOU. LMAO
    Cindy
  2. Ok I do agree with Diva Chi on this.
    Pleasure of my company: PRICELESS!!!!
    Cindy
  3. I can do olive garden…. Times are hard anyways and why are we spending that much on ourselves just to impress the man. If you knew you were going to olive garden… It ain't worth $355 getting yourself ready.
    Speaking from someone that still needs help in the wardrobe department.
  4. Hmm, Olive garden…
    would I be impressed?….probably not. Is it an outright NO?….probably not. But really, if you want a definite yes, you might want to try another restaurant.
    Plus, I feel Chi chi on this one. If you've met Chichi (aka Princess or Damsel in Distress) and you actually ask her on date to Olive Garden, you must not be serious.
  5. ok…so Olive garden… NO! NO! NO!
    My last visit there was probably in 2004. Just starting out, happy for any type of outing, and a lot less HM than I am now.
    Didn't even pay attention to the prices, but now that I know what the prices are, which I'm assuming per this editorial are current, and have been adjusted for inflation since 2004… I now know why I thought it SUCKED!!!!
    Mind you, I didn't spend all that expense to get doled up….I was way past impressing anyone at that point, but on the priceless pleasure of my company…. I will have to absolutely agree.
    Still remember the look on my face when I bit into the bread….STALE!!!! I screamed, could not have been freshly baked on that day (Background, always been a sucker for freshly baked, straight out the oven warm and squishy bread….yum!)
    Move on to entree….pasta. Can you really mess up pasta? Yes!!! at Olive gardens. Another scream…."PLASTIC!!!" devoid of any taste…."OMG! babe, we are out of here."
    My boyfriend at the time, still trying to salvage what was turning out to be a horrible Sunday lunch experience, begged me to try dessert. I hesistated, then agreed.
    O! It looked so good….all dressed up with chocolate drippings and cherry on the top. I wasn't falling for this set up, so I let him dig in first. He bit into it and then immediately holla'd for the check…end of story.
    We are married now and still joke about our date at Olive gardens…never been back since.
    To Editor—check this…if you're spending all this money to impress and brotha man is taking you to Olive gardens. He clearly isn't tryin to impress you, so take a hint and dress for less or switch up the brotha :-)
  6. How dramatic!!! I thought I was reading a book. I guess I look at a date as getting to know someone not the food. I can feed myself! Jeans a cute shirt would have been fine with heels.
    Cindy, aka Ngozi
  7. Olive Garden is not that bad now! Cindy, I am with you on the getting ready for a date "$0″. If it is Olive Garden that we go to for the first date, no problemo, but we MUST switch it up! Next time, we go to my choice of restaurant. If he is not open to that, we need to revisit the drawing board and see it "drastic measures" need to be taken. (HINT: If he is not accomodating of others' ideas, then chances are he is going to be the cause of loads of headache and misery)!!!

A Reflection on the Past

7/20/2008



Making him smile………causing his laughter…..was my joy

Frequently I prayed for him……..for his success……….for his happiness

I loved him…………truly I loved him

And Gosh………………yes, yes………he broke my heart



The days following the breakup were the worst

It was like the world…….my world………ceased to exist

My heart ached…………I’d never felt so much pain

And the tears………….the tears would not stop falling………..I could not stop crying



I stopped living………..I could not function

Everything, everyone reminded me of him………of us………of our moments

The pain was seemingly unbearable……..I could feel my heart break under the weight of it

My today…..and tomorrows…………held no promise, with him gone



And then………..my tomorrow is today

There is music………laughter….fun……………….the pain long gone

The memories have faded……….his presence ceases to make my heart skip a beat

He remains a friend……….a beloved friend

But my heart…………my emotions, affections, attentions…………..belong to another



Hmmm…………the way of the world

I never thought I would get over him………….that I could stop loving him

Such characterizations now make me smile

I loved…………I lost……………I moved on………….I’ve moved on……



Responses
1.
Hmmmm! This is deep o!
•Edit Comment
By: Jumoke on August 1, 2008
at 4:46 pm
Reply

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

My Experience With Aso Ebi (“and co”) and Nigerian Tailors in the U.S.


July 15, 2008



Being a part of a wedding in the United States is not a cheap affair. On one hand, it means a lot to be asked to be part of a wedding, but when it comes down to the costs of shopping for the bridesmaids gowns, asoebi (if a Nigerian wedding), and accessories, it could be a very expensive affair. If you have to fly down to a different state from where you reside, you might as well add on another $200, and the current gas prices don't make the burden of the costs any better. A new problem that arises with taking part in a wedding is custom made gowns. This is a term that I would like to coin babanla rip off. Even if they rip you off, please tell me why this particular profession houses people that have little to no value for people's times? Very frustrating, I tell you.



After purchasing quite a number of asoebis in support of my friends getting married, I became worried about how I was going to get all the materials sewn, so I asked a couple of friends for recommendations. It was so weird that 4 out of six recommenders suggested the same tailor, but I was warned that she was very expensive and never bargained on prices. So, I made the call and an appointment for a Saturday evening. Before leaving my house, I called to be sure that she would be home (my experience with tailors have not been the best…I find them to be very unreliable with time). She was, and so I set out. On arriving at her place; however, I noticed that there were several cars in the driveway. I muttered to myself that I hoped that they had guests and that these were not cars that belonged to customers.



As the door opened, I noticed that the basement had a room full of women. Her husband ushered me in and confirmed that my destination was indeed the room that housed the "beaucoup" women. Oh God! I thought to myself. She was home alright, but she was, in the true fashion of tailors, GOING TO WASTE MY TIME!!! I quickly announced my arrival and told her that I didn't have much time to spend. She nodded her understanding, but still ushered me to an adjoining room. I like to draw my own outfits from scratch so I was given a pencil and a scratch paper to draw them. After an hour, this iya had still not attended to me (mind you, I had finished drawing my outfits 30 minutes earlier o!), so in my true impatient fashion, I told her that I had to leave.




Why is it that at that particular moment, she was ready for me? Like magic, she was done with her customers and it was my turn? —I still have a feeling that they were discussing other non-material related subjects at my expense—anyhow, it was finally my turn and I was excited. I was ready to see the magic that this talented tailor was going to do to bring my outfits to life!




And then her daughter woke up. Please tell me why in the Lord's name this child did not wake up when it was the other customers' turn? Okay, so she woke up and wanted to eat, wanted to be carried, wanted to play! Ahn Ahn! On my time? Why o why? So, the mother had to go get food for the daughter, and back her (which took another 30 minutes). Meanwhile, I was trying to be nice because I thought that being nice and understanding would get me a good deal. Hmmmm! Boy, was I wrong. After she took my measurements, which I have to admit were very accurate, I asked for the total. I promise you, the room started spinning when she gave me the prices. I am not lying o! Hmmm!








For 5 outfits, one being a very simple dress, she charged me a whopping $540. It is even hurting to type this. I did not even know when I shouted Jesus! After what seemed like an hour of arguing about how ridiculously expensive the price was, she took off a miserable $20. She did come highly recommended, so I left them with her, but I had many a sleepless nights thinking about what a rip off this experience was.



Neways, to cut a long story short, I went for my fitting a week later than scheduled (cos of course she was not done with them) and the outfits were almost perfect (too short, some additions substituted for others (not as bad as Iya Ibeji's substitutions…that one was one of the worst tailors I have ever sewn with; goodness!) and the tops were actually too tight, but the woman knows her stuff o! By the time the adjustments were complete, the outfits were looking slamming). I know, I know, proper rip off, but did I have a choice? Anyhow, please if you know of any good tailors in the ATL region, abeg, let a sistah know o! I tried my hardest to pay $50 less, but for wieya? The iya no gree o! So, I have 5 gorgeous outfits, but it cost me $520. Was it worth it? I think not, but it's okay. I will make peace with it by pretending that I sowed $120 into her life. That way the 5 outfits only cost me $400; that is the only way that I can live with the decision I made.



In conclusion, before you say yes to all the weddings that you are asked to be a part of, think hard about whether you really have to or want to be a part of it o! I am serious. If you decide that you want to be a part, hmmmm, you will either have to make sure your finances are in order or you will have to become an artist and make your own jewelry and sew your own clothes yourself o! I am serious! Either decision you make will be time consuming, but at least you decided to be a part of the wedding…..so it is worth it!



This post was entered by Jummy, one of the editors at www.fabnaija.com



Enter your comments and tell us about tailors that you know in the U.S. We will add the information to our list of vendors on www.fabnaija.com. (or you can visit the website and enter the information yourself or check out other vendors).



Also tell us about your own experiences with tailors in the U.S.; the ones you'd recommend and the ones everyone should avoid.



Enjoy the Wedding Season!!!



Jummy




Responses

  1. I enjoyed this article…too funny. Also if you agree to do aso ebi, do it well.
  2. Kai, Ijebu girl, $540.00 was giving you a spin:-)….Anyways, I agree that these tailors in the US are rip offs. They'll charge you 120.00 for one outfit, meanwhile in Nigeria, they are charging the customers $20.00 or even less (when you do the conversion). I think the best thing to do is to learn how to sew and join the "Do it yourself crowd". Interesting story by the way. I can see that you guys didn't waste time waiting on me to create a website:-)…I know, i know, I'm so unreliable:-(…This is really great…
  3. We have a website OOOOO. This is just the editors' corner for the website – http://www.usnigerianevents.com.
  4. Stay away from anyone called Iya Ibeji who lives in the Lawrenceville area!!!!!
  5. my own be say, when u get a tailor make sure they know how to measure u well, if not you will experience WARDROBE MALFUNCTION like I did. I am trying to get my money back o…I am experiencing post traumatic stress. I hope to recover before the next aso ebi I will be in this September.
  6. all I can say is after this sewing and custom made dress you will think one can cross their legs and sit down and look beautiful and hope to land some MOG's…then comes the real reason for asoebi: counting money, sharing food, making the wedding album look beautiful..you know black and white alone is boring.,, you need pink, green…..
    my dears if they tell you the reason they picked you is for exposure especially when you are single..na lie…glorified housegirl, hostess,, food sharer,
    Am not bitter oh!! I believe God is in control and has conquered every battle and all in due time but can a sister just sit and cross leg for one wedding like americans do!! and hafnaija-haf cameroon, I sympathize with you…that kind wardrobe malfunction calls for court tv…. I can see it already will the plaintiff please rise…I think it carries more weight if you wear the tear tear cloth to the courtroom and then iya will be on the other side..then behind you, the multitude of other martyrs whose clothes were sewn too tight and had to dance small small when karolina and gaou came on the radio…
    oya make I stop hia!! until later
  7. hafnija-hafcameroon, I totally feel you on that…can you imagine that after all this escapade, one of the dresses tore right before I left my house to go to the wedding? I had to find a black shirt to wear instead of the aso-ebi material top. Hmmm…what if I didnot have a substitute top? Another friend's dress ripped at the wedding ceremony and it ripped at a very noticeable area (the butt)! I am taking my cloth right back to the woman and I only pray that she does not present an attitude because that day, she will know say crase pass crase! Qmma, my thoughts exactly…not only do you pay an arm and a leg to be a part of a wedding, but your role as an aso-ebi wearer is real glorified housegirl! But what can we do? we have to be supportive now!
  8. half Naija and Jumoke, i really do think in true U.S. of A fashion you guys should get your money back if the thing tears O. However, i think 9ja businesses (even in the U.S.) operate on a very different level.
    please let us know if they actually pay you guys back :) .
    the whole conversation with the tailor should make for a great follow up article.
  9. Jummy,
    This is very funny. I keep trying to explain to my African America friends that being a friend of an African who is getting married is an expensive and time consuming adventure. It's not a "go to the mall and pick a dress" event. It has to be planned months ahead of time.
    Bless your heart for that experience but you did love it in the end, so good for you.
    My Sista, I do agree with you Iyabeji or whatever her name is was a bad experience. The latest lady I used Francesca was a great experience. I recently was referred to this Senegalese guy who works out of his garage. After driving for forever to get there he was going to charge me $80 for a skirt. I was soo pissed I could have asked him for gas money. Can you believe it! When I paid $70 for an entire outfit, why in God's name will $80 for a stupid skirt when I can just wrap the cloth around me. lol
    So I decided to sew the darn thing myself. I'll make time.
    Cindy aka Ngozi
  10. Qmma, please what's the meaning of MOG
  11. Man of God!!
  12. lol @ Qmma. I thot about it ten ways upside down and never came up with that meaning.
  13. Jummy, with the way i have seen you attending weddings on your facebook, am suprised you are complaining,but its so amazing how much one can make from the kind of skills we used to look at as "home economics" or "home management" back then while in high school for me this kind of article is making me regret not paying attention to Mrs Babalola when she dey teach "cutting and sewing".
    Take heart, as long as you have friends getting married and you wish them to be at your own wedding too in your own ASO EBI, then you might just continue to pay thru your ……….!!!
  14. lol, you all are funny.
    Sorry to put iyabeji on blast sha but that woman had the worst customer service experience ever, plus her sewing was one in town. Can you believe the shoulder of my dress ripped on my way to the wedding when i was trying to turn the steering wheel?? then to top it off, it was like where the yansh of the dress was supposed to be, she hiked it up to the back. so it was like i had this hump in the back of my dress where my backside (how ever little it is) was supposed to fill it. i was so ticked, i had to use my belt to try and hide it.
    But as Francesca said that is what u pay for going to Obioma cuz there are Obiomas, tailors and then fashion designers! I said oturugbeke!
    Ehen Jummy I don catch u, so dis na why you no gree buy my aso-ebi begin gist me story about color of cloth no match wetin u buy kini kan kini kan. no yawa, i forgive u sha cuz 540 is serious. u fit pay credit card bill with that one if not 1 bedroom apt rent sef.
    I say I am going to learn how to sew, by the Grace of God I must to learn am. that way i can stay at home with my brood of 6.
    And then em, Ngozi, u know i have to pick on u, lol. :o ) Why did u have to pick an ibo name? u couldn't pic anything else, especially since u have friends from all over Nigeria??? u need to represent accordingly.
    ahem, i have shared my 10 kobo…
  15. lol@ Odufa…..maybe she used Ngozi b/c that's actually her name.
  16. Odufa! You no go kee pesin o! LMAO! Abeg tell Francesca to call a sister o….I need to sew 2 more asoebis and Lord knows I will do everything I can not to go back to that tailor (I still have to take back the shirt that ripped and the other one that she made so tight that I come resemble Barbie). I am actually impressed that I got her to take off $20 from the total. After I told my recommenders my story, they were in awe. "She agreed to take off what?" they asked. "You must be a very influential person". Buhahahaha! Ah, all it took was to hear the price and all fronting disappeared. I started speaking pidgin English…That was how I did it o! Neways, abeg, tell Franchesca I dey wait o! And as for your comment about me not doing Asoebi on Saturday, Odufa, ahn ahn! I don explain matter to you na! How far! Shuo! No worries, I go dey there full force to support you on Thursday (with my experimental puff puff i.e. puff puff with honey in the middle and puff puff with ice cream in the middle, and just incase the experiment is not well received, regular puff puff….only for you o!), Friday, and Saturday. :-) !
  17. OMG, who are these ladies blogging? I had to comment abeg. You all are too funny.. I'm at work laughing sooooo hard, which rarely happens. I'm looking for a good 9inja tailor in the New York Area please oo. Any recommendations.
    I so concur with everything said so far. Ladies, This is my last aso ebi Men (hissing).
    Good read
  18. Isi, thanks for reading and COMMENTING. We absolutely appreciate the comments. The ladies run a wedding website (usnigerianevents.com…moving soon), and they blog for the editors' corner of the site.
    We are glad you are enjoying the blog :)
  19. Please oh! I just dropped off 2 asoebi at a tailor in l'ville who sounds so much like the one described! Please oh, tell me her initials are not J.A!!!!!!!!!! I beg na!
    She has sewed once for me b4 when I lived in the Atl but I have moved out of state and could not find a tailor in Fl do I went back to her. We have not even talked $$$ yet. My greatest fear is that I may need alterations when she ships them to me!!!!
    WHAT TO DO????? Is it the same person? Off Old Norcross road????????
  20. I'm not sure of this tailor. I'll check.
  21. It is the same person o! Sorry for the late response….
  22. [...] for a very interesting and funny article relaying on of our editors' tailoring experience, check out http://fabnaija.wordpress.com/2008/07/02/my-experience-with-aso-ebi-and-co-and-nigerian-tailors-in-t... [...]

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Introduction...the First Post from Fairy Tale Blows

He's much older………….unmarried……..no I don't steal husbands

He has kids, although he denies their existence

He's well-off…..doesn't deny it………uses it to his advantage……..although he's paranoid about being taken advantage of


He's seemingly complicated………although it may just be a façade


Seems a bit insecure about his age


Consumed with work………………and the pursuit of money



His loyalty to loved ones is palpable


He's been hurt………………..badly………


The scars are not visible…………poor man………but they are very much evident



He's in dire need of affection………..genuine-idontneedanythingfromyou-affection


I ache……….long to console him, love him, comfort him…….without bruising his ego


But I think any efforts with be rebuffed



How do I approach this…….what is the purpose of his presence in my life


Is he even worth the effort……….


Or should I walk away…………..and forget he exists???







    Monday, July 7, 2008

    Act of Faith



    Check out Act of Faith – A beautiful movie about trusting God and many controversial issues surrounding rape and abortion. A pastor and her husband have been trusting God for a child for many years. Unfortunately, they are attacked by armed robbers and the woman is raped. She decides to keep the child against everyone's wishes and in true Patience Ozokwor fashion, her mother-in-law makes her life a living hell as she continues to trust God to be faithful. Well acted and drama-filled from start to finish. You'll have much to discuss with your "co-watchers" after watching this movie.



    After watching, please tell us what you think about the story:


    Would you advise your friend to keep such a pregnancy?


    Do you think the wife should have made a decision to keep the pregnancy when her husband was against it?